I’m witty under the influence…apparently. 

I wanted to find the perfect quote that would calm my anxiety a bit.
Just a few words that would speak to how I’m feeling and give some sort of inspirational overtone to the message.
I know it’s asking for a lot. A wish for emotional Netflix on demand to hit that need for random tidbits of therapy.

Not like Charlie Brown’s frenemy Lucy who would dole out gems of wisdom for spare change, but something quieter, more private. Something that I could roll past on a facebook post or while perusing for the perfect fall outfit on Pinterest.

But damn. Maybe that’s the problem. I want to get inspired. Feel better. Swing and hit a message of blessing while I’m doing all this other stuff like working and talking to my husband and watching tv and fantasy closet shopping on Pinterest.

What I should be doing is being quiet as fuc#, allowing these anxious thoughts to be slowly chipped away by the quiet inhalation and exhalation of my deep ass breaths. While I focus on how my body feels having taken those breaths. I mean…do I feel oxygenated right now or what? And,yes. Why I think I do feel as if I’m slightly more oxygenated. Also,I’m feeling pretty sweet because I ate some coconut oil something or another today and so that’s like, working on cleaning out my arteries or something. And that’s a bonus. Add that to the fish oil caplet I ingested and we are ready to rock and roll for the next 4 minutes until I want to fall asleep and hope for non stressful dreams. Maybe tonight, my method of singing ‘Peaceful Easy Feeling’ will actually set the dream theme tonight. No telling the kind of just insane and messed up dreams that one can get from having music from Japanese anime stuck in my head from the restaurant we ate at tonight. Ichiro! Damn that Shabu was good though.

Maybe I’ll just write my own inspirational/get to sleep already/how is HE asleep already/doesn’t he hear my brain working over time over here-quote.

Surrounding yourself with positivity works, until crazy follows you into your quiet calm.

When that happens, and using headphones is considered rude,

The only way out is to act as weird as you’re openly comfortable with in public. Talk loudly and in riddles. Pack a bag for a trip to Springfield and tell no one which Springfield. In the end, take your bag to Springfield, leave the house. Go get a burger and strawberry shake and then take a long, leisurely drive. When enough time has passed, quietly pull back into the garage, calmly announce your arrival home and let everyone know that thanksgiving has been cancelled, as you point to the box of pizza on the counter. The kids may cry but at least they’re not losing Christmas.

And it’s at that moment. When the gooey cheese is burning the roof of your mouth…you’re feeling much better.

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