I honestly can’t remember what I said to my best friend when my husband died. I assume it was a lot of jumbled words tumbling out of my mouth in between hearty sobs, and attempts to catch my breath enough to explain what had happened.
And while I can’t recall the exchange, I know something for certain.
My best friend, the one who has at this point been my ‘ride or die’ female by my side for over a decade now, was there for me.
I feel so close to my best friend, who I call my ‘chosen sister’, because no matter what the circumstance, she’s always been there.
She was there, when I told her that I had gotten pregnant. She was there when I showed her my wedding ring, and had to tell her the story of how I’d gotten married because of said pregnancy. She was there, when my heart shattered when my baby had her first brain surgery, and her second, and her third. She was there, in between this trio of brain surgeries, when my husband took his own life. She was there, when I moved cities to pursue what I thought was a second chance at love. She was there when that love broke my heart and kicked both myself and my young daughter out of his home so that he could move his ex-wife back into it a week after I’d moved out. She was there, helping me decorate my new home, telling me that I needed things like a dispenser for cotton swabs during a trip to Home Goods. She was there when I told her I’d met an Italian crooner on Match.com. She was there, meeting this handsome singer during an impromptu visit to Las Vegas. And she was there, standing right by my side, when I married again.
I haven’t had many female friends in my life. And I used to stress over that fact. But now, I realize that it’s not the quantity of friends, it’s the quality.
Today as I reflect on all the women in my life, I realize how lucky I am.
I am surrounded by women who have enormous hearts, Who look outside of themselves for ways that they can help others, for ways that they can impact communities that we live in, and for ways that they can positively impact another person’s life.
These women are not self-centered, narcissistic types. They are not driven by ego. They are intent on making our world a better place for everyone to live in. I am so honored to call each one of these women in my life my chosen sister.
It’s friends like my best friend, who have been there through the best times and the worst, who have shown me what sisterhood is.
True sisterhood is defined by the embodiment of the following:
- She recognizes your strengths, and encourages your passion
- She knows what you are self-conscious about, and would never use those things as weapons against you
- Her love for you extends to your children, and vice-versa
- She has seen you at your worst, and has not judged you
- She is not jealous of what you have, but grateful for your blessings
Because life has a way of intervening, there are periods of time where my chosen sisters and I haven’t talked for years on end. The beauty is that with these ladies, we can pick up right where we left off, and be just as close as we were a decade ago.
We’ve fought. We’ve not talked for weeks on end. We’ve always come back around. Why? Because we’re family.
To all of my ‘sisters’…You are the brave women I look to for advice and strength. You are the incredibly intelligent women who I come to for the best advice. You are the ones who make me see the bright side of life because you carry your beauty on the inside as well as on the outside. And, I want you to know that you are LOVED.
Thank you for always being there for me, And for loving me during so many times when I didn’t feel very lovable. Because of our sisterhood, I am a stronger woman, a Warrior Mama, and a better person.
If you and I are ‘sisters’, and you don’t see your picture below, please don’t be angry with me. It’s probably because I have don’t have any accessible pictures, or I look horrible in them and selfishly chose not to include them. But I still love you.
My biological sister, whom I didn’t choose because we happen to share the same parents, but would have chosen if we didn’t. ❤️
My chosen sisters are the ones you instantly connect with because they understand exactly what you’ve gone through, because they’ve gone through it too.
My chosen sisters are the ones whose hearts are so big and so good that you can’t help but love them the second you meet them.
My chosen sisters are the kind of chicks who will throw on onesies for a lazy Sunday afternoon of watching TV and eating snacks.
My chosen sisters are the kind of girls who will do a shot of tequila with you before you walk down the aisle.
Oh, and in case you’re wondering, that is a picture of me with singer Storm Large. Not because she is a current chosen sister of mine, but because I think if we got to know each other better that we would totally be BFFs. Just throwing it out there. No pressure.